best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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