I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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