and she was petting her beer can
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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