You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
