ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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