So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Can I color on your dick again?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
