I will die if light touches me.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
