just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
