I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
