if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
