DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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