I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
