HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize