There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
