Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
