i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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