I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
