I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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