In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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