Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
