she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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