I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
