Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
