i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I love having hate sex.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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