She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
