is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
