Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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