wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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