NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
