thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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