don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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