There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
