just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
