hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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