If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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