oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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