I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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