He kissed a someone with a penis
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
