Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
