Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
