My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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