She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
