I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
