she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm sobbing to NWA
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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