I hate all girls vehemently.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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