Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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