maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
