And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
