Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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