Banned from zoo.
Again?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
