Me. At least after what I've been through.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
