We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
