I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
