I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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