K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
