WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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