I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
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I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
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No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.