He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...